Skip to main content

Life in Scrabble


 

Jump. J on the triple letter for 28 points. 

Great word, Betsy, you bitch. That was my spot.

Don’t spoil my fun, Chelsea. You’re winning by 50 points. You’re my word idol—

Woof!

—And, speaking of vicarious thrills, has that guy from Frank’s gym called you yet?

Frank?

The one who couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

He’s the Frank. And no, he hasn’t called. What about you?

Woof! Woof!!

Calm down, Thor. You just had walkies. Chelsea, I can’t flirt like you. It’s fun to watch, but I’m not built that way.

We are built exactly the same.

We may be similar in size, but you have discernable breasts and glowing, flaxen hair.

You need that new shampoo and I need to make a word of vowels. There. Eight measly points.

Ai is a word?

It’s a three-toed, sloth. Look it up.

You see Chels? You make the best with what you have – in Scrabble and life. You make a great word out of two vowels, and you point your breasts and flaxen hair at handsome men who own gyms. I’ve been dealt a glacial metabolism and the Q.

You crack me up, Bets. Seriously, we’ve got to get you laid.

What I’ve got to get is a U-less Q word! Pass me the dictionary.  

C’mon. There’s gotta be someone who ticks your boxes. Give me an example.

Qi, qat, qadi...

An example of a guy you’re into!

Thor.

Woof, woof, woof!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

patience

  I’ve been ruminating, as these days dwindle, on the concept of patience. I’ve always thought of myself as virtuously calm when hours need wasting waiting in airports, for car service or medical appointments. I look down at fidgeters, galumphing men who pace small spaces, and women who sigh and then sigh again, louder. With a book, I can sit happily for hours anywhere. I’ve even been known to pull out the laptop and noodle on my own novel in planes, trains and laundromats. But the kind of patience I seek is more than sitting quietly and judging others (not a virtue, I know.) Patience can also be an INTENTION (my word of 2024) and YES ( my word of 2023).  Patience is faith that putting one’s intentions out there into the universe will, eventually, be recognized if not rewarded. Patience is my word for 2025.
Post a Comment
Read more

In the Manger with Jesus

  Young children have a hard time understanding complex ideas and things they can’t see. This is why they say the darndest things as adults struggle to explain concepts like God, death, and the small microbes that live on their grubby little fingers which they should wash before supper. My nephew, we’ll call him Sebastien, was four years old when my father passed away. Dad had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, and while he had trouble breathing and didn't have much energy, he always had time to read a story or share some red grapes with Sebastien. There were lots of naps in the big easy chair with Grampa. When Dad got sicker, the chair was moved out of the front room to make way for a hospital bed. Dad died on December 24, 2009, as my brother and I held his hands and my mother stroked his face.   At Sebastien’s house, his mother struggled to explain what had happened. Why there would be no more naps, stories or grapes with Grampa. “His get-better-bed didn’t work,” s...
9 comments
Read more

Nick in Time

My mother didn’t teach me to shave;  she actively tried to stop me. She argued that I was too young, unconvinced by my pleas that all the other girls were doing it; unconvinced by the 34 Double C bras she had to order from the Sears catalogue. I didn't want boobs at aged 10. I didn't know what to do with them. I didn't want hairy legs at age 13, either.  I had a mind of my own and my body, alas, did too, regardless of Mom's "too young" argument.  By grade eight, all the other girls – or at least one of them – suggested I see to my legs and underarms before we donned bathing suits for the upcoming co-ed class swimming lesson, which was a big deal. We were to be bussed from our small rural school to a sports complex in Kitchener, big deal.  I would see Robert Woods in his bathing suit and he in mine, big deal! Without telling Mom, I simply borrowed the gummy turquoise Lady Shick that she kept in a bathroom drawer alongside a congealing jar of Noxema and a disi...
Post a Comment
Read more