I float in
an out of consciousness. Not new. Don’t recognize my surroundings. Also, not
new.
The scent of
fresh cut grass and a breeze to my right, but not my left. Must be an open window.
I’m lying flat. Must be on a bed. Not enough energy to raise my head, so I
start with an easy one. My right hand. Oh shit. I’m tied down again. The bed’s
plastic. Another hospital.
That
realization jolts me just enough to raise my head. The room is like fog, dull and
fuzzy-coloured. Through the window I see bright grass and trees. Low sun
blazes across blue mountains in the distance. Alberta? BC? Are the Rockies blue? No snow caps. Perhaps down south, somewhere warm? The breeze is
cool.
The itching
starts. Shit.
I look to
the night stand on my left. Cup, pitcher and bowl of fruit. All plastic.
Nothing to cut through the restraints or use as a weapon. The clock radio might
have promise. I let that percolate while
I search for meds. Nothing. The pitcher drips with condensation. There’s water
in it – but not a drop to drink.
“Hey, how
you feeling?”
Julian. Better
than a long drink of cold water. The
itching stops. Shame replaces it.
“Like shit.”
“Can I get
you anything?”
“Out of
here.”
He sighs and
scrapes a hardback chair across the room nearer to the bed, just far enough away
that I can’t drink in his scent or hope for his touch. His stony face and brisk
movements tell me what he thinks of my smartass answer.
“Maybe some
water.” I amend, contritely.
He dutifully
pulls the pitcher toward him, his face as unreadable as the early days when I
was certain he hated me.
“I’m sorry.”
My words are
puny and useless.
Oh, Willa. You make her so real Debbie, & using so few words, help us feel her ... plethora of emotions.
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